General Election V

I'm feeling a tad guilty about my unrelenting cynicism. This morning I swam in a fine municipal baths and later I will get to exercise my franchise at my leisure. As I glibly took in the lunchtime news on Sky I saw footage of riots in Burundi where there is controversy about the forthcoming presidential election. A man was today burned alive.

BFP training fuel

Last night I polished off a bottle of pleasant red wine - Villa Maria Pinot Noir 2011. It was a leaving gift to me from a co-worker whose estimation I value. That made the wine taste all the better.

And he makes it fast with one more thing - we re-watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind on Tuesday. Halliwell is rather sniffy about it but I thought it stood up well. 6.5/10.

Remember to vote.

General Election IV: The Others

These I have trouble with: the Greens, UKIP, and the Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition. The trouble is that I rather like them.

The Greens bring an entirely new slant to politics by its severance from any meaningful relationship to economics. They can seem laughable but their sincerity is their greatest weapon. I happen not to agree with most of their prescriptions, perhaps having an excessive faith in man's ingenuity. A sort of Green Objectivism might make some mischievous intellectual appeal.

UKIP - a single issue party with dreadful growing pains. A pity because the single issue is  a bigger one than our non-neophyte political class would have us believe.

TUSC - the vehicle for Dave Nellist and his Trotskyist chums. I feel quite nostalgic for their politics. Welcome back lads.

So that's it. And after all that I only get one vote. One last point - what would be so terrible about a minority government followed by a further early election? Cameron can shove his Fixed Term Parliament Act up the proverbial. Nuff said.

Happy voting one and all. Just do vote - you won't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.

General Election III: Liberal Democrats

Nicholas William Peter Clegg (who Benn-like prefers to be known by his diminutive 'Nick') may have become a toxic brand but you have to give it to the boy - he has come up with best soundbite of the campaign.

I'll add a heart to a Conservative government and a brain to a Labour one

I particularly like the disdain for Miliband implicit in that choice of words.

But sadly he still has St Vince of Twickenham in tow, a man who makes Ed Balls look self-effacing.

General Election II: Labour

Somewhere in my archive (ok it's a collection of mouldering boxes) is my copy of the 1983 Labour Manifesto, memorably described as the longest suicide note in political history. Plain, stark-staring bonkers it may have been but at least, as I recall, it was literate. Its 2015 cousin is full of grammatical infelicities. Now these things probably don't matter to many people aside from me but it betrays a concerning lack of sincerity. The Labour Party is at its best when it is being socialist but even with Red Ed in charge they have lost the courage of their convictions. Instead we have the party of Ed Balls and Harriet Harman. God help us.

For what it is worth I believe Ed Miliband when he says "The fundamental truth that runs through this manifesto is that Britain will only succeed when working people succeed." I'm afraid I also strongly believe that he is worse equipped than even Cameron to deliver on the standard sententious drivel.

Now I have to have a rest and gather my strength to opine on the rest of the clowns. Actually they're not all clowns but I think you'll be mildly surprised in whose direction I doff my cap.  

General Election I: The Conservatives

There's no avoiding it - it's make your mind up time. To which end I've been scouring the manifestos for you. A dead sea of platitudes.

So here is all you need to know about the Conservative manifesto. In fact it appears in the Foreword to the eighty odd pages. All (or pretty much so) thereafter is an  attempt to bribe people with my money and yours, this being the unthinking modus operandi of all our major parties - what we might term the Attlee Legacy, that doughty survivor of the Thatcher Revolution.

It is a profound Conservative belief that our country is made great not through the action of  government alone, but through the flair, ingenuity and hard work of the British people.

Let me be quite clear, this (to my mind) admirable affirmation of proper political will is hardly at all borne out by the Con-Dem efforts of the last five years, but at least the Tories have not so lost sight of the mantra that they are unable to repeat it.

That my friends is as good as the political thinking gets these days. Thus do I have to part company with one of my heroes, Rod Liddle, who has come out and explained that he will be voting Labour (you can track it down at Call me insane but I'm voting Labour - brilliant as usual). I have no great faith that the Boy Cameron really knows enough of the world to live by these words but at least he is still capable of mouthing them.

Labour to follow.

Support Your Local Pig

There's no going back now - I've made a public commitment and more important than that I have promised Daughter Number Two that I'm going to do it. So, barring illness and injury (either of which will have to be suitably severe) on October 11 I will be in Rachel's company as we run the Royal Parks Half Marathon. Many, many, many moons ago Big Fat Pig (aka BFP, that's me not Rach) did the full London Marathon and although he finished he did get badly dehydrated and lost a sprint finish to a bloke in a rhino costume, who in turn was just touched off by a man with a false leg. So you will appreciate that BFP does not do this thing lightly.

BFP in his Oakleys

Both Rachel and I will be raising funds for Mind, the mental health charity, something close to my heart as our resident mentalist. If you are minded to support our efforts you can find my giving page at David Roberts's Giving Page

After the rigours of a week in Ireland and in particular the onboarding of enough calories to sink a battleship, it was with some trepidation and an inevitably heavy tread that I set out for my latest run this morning. All went to plan and I shuffled about three miles. This afternoon I have been to the chiropractor for the first time in an age and was rewarded by three resounding cracks of the spine - by my simple reckoning the louder the crack the better the value for money you are getting.

My training regime will include red wine -which is good for your heart. In moderation. That's my story and I'm sticking got it.

End Of Trip Report

Let's get the golf out of the way first. Horrible quite horrible - I refer there to my own form not the venues or the company, all of which were exemplary.

A big Overgraduate shout-out to local organiser Tony Boland and our personal organiser Will Macfarlane. Two giants in the land, figuratively if not literally in the case of Tony. Will returns to his candidacy in next week's local elections and to support his estimable wife Sue who is standing for parliament. That they are standing for the Greens is something over which this blog will draw a polite veil. I admire their conviction and commitment if not their politics.

So it is back home for BFP (bigger, fatter and pigger after the attentions of the chefs of Dunmore East) to the prospect of the election and the reality of unemployment. I'll keep you posted.