Sunday, 28 March 2010


It's over. A week ago I wrote that I was terrified. If anything the terror increased as the last two dress rehearsals were held. AB had a nightmare final rehearsal when he completely blanked. Horrible for him but oddly comforting for the rest of us in a perverse way. We were all so worried for him that we could ignore our personal demons. He was alright on the night.

We played four nights: Wednesday I was shaky at first but better as the night progressed; Thursday was our best night; Friday I needed a prompt; Saturday AF saved me from a prompt. On the whole it was fun and I have felt mildly down today without the usual imperative to practise my lines.

How was Maxim de Winter to play? Challenging. It is tempting to make him more sympathetic than he really is. He is cold and repressed but he really does love the girl! Plus Rebecca must have been a cow for him to have killed her. That's how I played it. To signify my release from the role I have today shaved my head. The bald patch is a lot less obvious when you remove the surrounding hair.

Sunday, 21 March 2010


I'm terrified. Three days till our first night and I'm still struggling with my lines. Plus the director keeps telling me not to put my hands in my pockets on stage. Where else can I put them? Why did I listen to flattery and read for the part of Maxim de Winter? Vanity is the answer. God I've even let my hair grow at directorial insistence. A small crowd of staff from my old office are coming to the first night. And people from the rugby club. Bloody hell this could be truly humiliating. Am I looking forward to it? Of course I bloody am. Vain old ham.