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Saturday 23 July 2011

Travelogue VIII: Airport Bloody Airport

Airport Bloody Airport

(at San Jose 15 July)

I enjoy the actual act of air travel. A sense of wonder still overtakes me every time a plane lifts off the ground. What a piece of work is man that he calculated how to do this and made the experience accessible to the masses. But what a piece of work is man that made airport security and regulations necessary. You stand in queues to be searched, re-searched, questioned and stripped of your dignity. But, hell, rules is rules man, it’s the same for every one. But when is a rule not a rule? When it pertains to hand luggage limits that’s when. So departure lounges are full of smug twats carrying multiple oversized bags which serve only to advertise their impoliteness as they absorb all the baggage space in the cabin. It is a law of nature that those who obey the strictures will board last of all and it is their precious souvenirs which will be smashed to smithereens by heedless cabin crew slamming shut the overfilled lockers. This is the only thing Ryannair get right – strict enforcement of hand luggage allowances. All the rest endorse the taking of the piss out of the obedient by the miscreant.

Here’s a suggestion. If it looks like a suitcase and wheels like a suitcase, it is a sodding suitcase. Check it in you selfish bastard. 


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