Listen Up Plebs

A quick broadcast here from the land of Andrew Mitchell. I write from my suburban (although I note that the two new 'executive' homes being built a couple of doors up are described in the marketing blurb as 'semi rural' - wtf?) strongness in the constituency of the beleaguered Chief Whip.

The accusation is that my MP called a policeman a 'f****** pleb'. This apparently was disrespectful to the rozzer and even I can see that it was probably a bit out of order. Oddly it is the use of the 'p' word not the 'f' word which causes more offence.

But here's a few questions: when did it become proper for a policeman with a complaint to pursue it through the pages of the Sun? Why won't Mitchell tell us what he actually said instead of craftily saying that he did not utter the 'words attributed to me'? How dare anyone suggest that the policeman's note of the encounter might not be completely accurate? Does that sort of thing go on?

And here's a few answers: never; because he's been caught bang to rights as the arrogant posh boy he is; Hillsborough; yes.

Mr Mitchell, you are my representative in parliament. You dishonour me. I suggest in future that in dealing with plebeians  you take a leaf out of the book of Coriolanus, that way they will simply be mystified rather than indignant and will perhaps confine their reaction to muttering 'wanker' at your retreating form.

What' the matter, you dissentious rogues,
That, rubbing the poor itch of your opinion,
Make yourself scabs?
 

Mind you Coriolanus came to a very sticky end so what do I know.