Conspiracy Theory

The very odd couple

I was in Leeds a few days ago and I saw the damnedest thing in Macdonalds. There was a shiny faced, suspiciously dark-haired chap, understatedly well-dressed. He tried to appear normal but every pore of him shouted posh to anyone caring to look. He looked familiar as well. That forehead was memorable. He ordered a "large Mac". Clearly outside his comfort zone.

He was then joined by a rather jowly fellow who barked an order for super sized Big Mac meal with an extra box of nuggets as a chaser. I sat nearby and listened.

So what were David Cameron and Alex Salmond doing on what might be termed neutral territory? Stitching up the bloody referendum that's what. These very different men have a common interest in the Scots fatso getting his way in the Autumn. I think they missed a trick however - Lardy Face and Old Hair Dye agreed that the former would call the latter arrogant in his latest venting of spleen. This of course misses the point. Anyone can tell you Cameron isn't arrogant - patronising tosser is a better expression.

By voting yes the Scots can guarantee themselves no Tory government  ever ever ever. By voting yes the Scots can also ensure that the wrong Miliband never gets to be PM of the rump UK. Result. Where do I vote?