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Thursday 9 June 2022

Crazy Golf

I love my golf. You knew that already. I love to see it played well. You knew that already. I despise any lack of courtesy in this most mannered of sports. You knew that already. All of which preamble leads me to the vexing subject of LIV Golf, the new incarnation of professional golf that has arrived at our televisual door (you have to go to YouTube to watch it) drenched in immoral Saudi dollars. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. I spend a lot of time pondering these things when I might be better served thinking of something else. You knew that already. 

So what are we to make of this new bastard child of professional sport? Well, the amounts of money involved are eye-watering so it will have some effect. On balance I liken it to that other bastard child, Twenty20 cricket. Pop will eat itself. You knew that already.


So we have the pathetic spectacle of assorted greedy golfers being paraded before the world's press (at their most sanctimonious - the press that is) to justify their presence at a confected tournament that has next to nothing to do with rewarding sporting merit. It's all rather sad. I don't deny they are entitled to take the filthy lucre that is on offer but some of the attempts to separate themselves from the proper queasiness at the Saudi backing are nothing short of pathetic. Phil Mickelson has always struck me as a nice if rather simple soul. I have had to modify that view - he's plain thick. As for Graeme McDowell (not so thick, much lesser golfer) sitting there in his sponsored hat (hasn't anybody told them it's rude for a chap to wear his hat indoors?) and spouting the party line that 'the Khashoggi business' is 'reprehensible', well, yes Graeme dear, the strangling and dismembering of a journalist is a tad on the naughty side. Just admit that you're there for the mega bung of cash and stay off the politics. And while you're at it admit that the desecration of the seventy-two hole strokeplay format as the supreme measure of a golfer is asinine - 'LIV' - fifty-four in Roman numerals. Geddit?

And while on the subject of golfer's hats (which I was a few sentences ago) have you noticed that poor old Mickelson has lost his KPMG sponsorship. Since KPMG and the others in the Big Four symbolise all that is wrong with the professional services market these days, I'm rather surprised that they wanted out of association with somebody getting grossly overpaid. Don't get me wrong, there are loads of talented people in these firms but they are not ubiquitous. Do I sound bitter? Honestly I'm not - I'm just disillusioned. And before anyone asks the obvious question - yes I do feel the same way about the big law firms. When parasites become bigger than their hosts something has to give. Pop will eat itself.

Just to finish with a petty but true observation - I never much cared for Greg Norman. This LIV business seems to give some weight to my unreasoned prejudice.       

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