Too Wet To Run

It's pissing down, really pissing down. And it's blowing a gale. So plans to get out for a run have been postponed and the day is earmarked for eating, drinking, watching the golf and more reading. I will postpone going home until tomorrow so that I can give proper attention to the rioja.

Comedy Dave was in charge yesterday afternoon. He is continuing to experience difficulty with the digital signal and his expert diagnosis is that the bullet should be bitten and an external aerial should be erected - the old one blew down in storms years ago. Dave scours the Yellow Pages and lights on Anglesey Aerials of nearby Pentraeth. Comedy Dave is most concerned about the prospect of having to watch the golf on the jerky internet feed to the tiny screen of the Samsung notebook and so he phones and asks if Anglesey Aerials do compassionate short notice, Saturday visits. There follows a very pleasant customer experience. Out comes garrulous Huw Williams who climbs onto the roof, fixes a new aerial, drills through the wall and then shares Comedy Dave's concern that the picture is still breaking up. Huw takes this as a personal affront and remounts the roof to experiment with different alignments. Still no better. Huw, now positively angry, examines the Freeview box and disconsolately pronounces it a piece of crap. Would he recommend a replacement brand? Anything but this rubbish and Comedy Dave need only spend about £18 at the local (well Bangor) branch of Comet. Huw thinks it is open till 8.00. For all his hard work and wisdom Huw sheepishly delivers a bill for £70. Comedy Dave can only say that this would be cheap at twice the price. Thus The Overgraduate can now make its third retail recommendation - if you are on the island and need an aerial or satellite dish go to Anglesey Aerials, they're bloody brilliant. Dave waves Huw on his way (to another mercy mission to a caravan in Pentraeth) but only after Huw has extracted a promise to phone him to confirm that a new box has solved the problem. If not he will be back to remedy things - he sees this as a personal thing. Now Comedy Dave takes over.

Dave has ample time to get to Comet so he does. He tells the assistant that he wants a plain and simple Freeview box, nothing fancy like the vilified current box, for Huw's theory is that the Metronic Digi-Scart is too clever by half. Dave leaves with £17.99 worth of ProLine equipment and rushes back to the house to enjoy the remaining hours of the golf. He plugs in the new box, connects it to the television, puts the batteries in the remote, points it at the box and .... nothing. No lights on the display. Perhaps it's the plug. No. The batteries. No. Reluctant conclusion, it's a dud. Deep breath. Back to Comet. During these journeys back and forth Dave hears commentary on his favourite Paul Casey making five birdies in the Open. Never mind, it will all be worth it. It is at this stage that we discover that Huw Williams is in fact human after all. Comet is not open until 8.00 but closes at 6.00. Comedy Dave duly arrives at 6.01 and stands forlornly at the doors. Bugger he says.

He returns to Benllech and settles for that internet feed. By now Casey has stopped making birdies. Dave will go back to Comet on Sunday morning - he has checked the opening hours (pity he didn't do that first time) and will be on the doorstep at 10.30. Not renowned for doing so CD has this time kept his temper in check but during a lull in the golf he wonders - perhaps, just perhaps, he should give the box one last chance. He plugs it in again, links it up, points the remote. Nothing. Just for good luck and because he is now mightily pissed off, he gives the offending implement a mild thump. Only mild mind you, after all it has to go back to Comet in the morning.  The bloody light comes on. The bloody screen displays an unblemished picture and carries on doing so until CD goes to bed at midnight. It is working again now as the golf resumes. So follows a product review. Metronic Digi-Scart  bad, ProLine Digibox good.

Comedy Dave is having a day off today but his alter ego Couch Potato Dave is here. The golf is purportedly on now but the BBC is doing what I think they call colour pieces but what Dave calls bollocks. Show the sport you morons. On other subjects Dave is delighted that the Archers had the good sense to get rid of the monstrous Jude, ex boyfriend of Pip Archer and arch knob. Dave also saw Lord Mandelson being interviewed  by Andrew Marr this morning and for reasons of decency will not tell you what he thinks of the noble lord.