My Friend Is Not A Racist

You may have been deafened by my silence on England's 'tragic' defeat in the final of the European Nations Cup - since this is a (should that be 'the') Blog of Record and in case you missed it, we (I do still mildly identify with the team) lost 2-3 on penalties to Italy. Enough said. Well almost. Bear with me on this one.

The three missed penalties unleashed a wearyingly predictable torrent of racist abuse of the penalty-takers on what has come to be known as social media. That has been roundly and correctly condemned - this vile cacophony is what happens if you give wankers a megaphone. I can hear some of you baying that those of us who live in glass houses shouldn't lug stones about but I'll carry on heedless. Let me unravel for you the tale of Marcus Rashford and my friend who is not a racist.

Let's go back to Rashford's unfortunate penalty miss and let's not beat about the bush - it was comically bad - a stutter-step to the ball and a tame shot that unerringly hit the post. But that is the thing about sport - six inches to the right and the ball would have rolled into the net. Arise Sir Marcus. So anyway, there is a meme doing the rounds which intercuts Rashford's arrested run to the ball with old footage of Max Wall doing his comedy walks. Well my friend (for whom the term 'good bloke' might have been invented) found it mildly amusing and showed it to a customer. This customer promptly and casually accused my friend of being a racist. That is offensive bollocks. It is, and I'm sorry to get all portentous here, the self-righteous and asinine product of the world bequeathed to us by the Macpherson Report - a report which, full of good liberal intentions, encouraged a cult of lazy denigration and vicarious identity politics.

It is not racist to criticise or to lampoon Rashford for his penalty. It is racist to suggest that this occurred because he is black. All that happened is that  a young millionaire who has done much commendable political work made a bit of a prat of himself in his day job. Laughing at it makes it bearable. He'll get over it. So should we and, most importantly, my friend is not a racist.