Big Fat Pig In Anniversary Crash

It's wedding anniversary number thirty-six for BFP and the Groupie, the day when everyone asks why the hell does she put up with him.

The Pig (whose keep/get fit programme is still going strong) decided to mark the day with a long cycle ride - in Pig language that means two and a half hours on the road. Today he took on four climbs in his route and was feeling quite pleased as he coasted back to Casa Piggy with the clock ticking down to the allotted time. He arrived at the head of the road with thirty seconds left and therefore decided (stupid completist that he is) to throw in a tiny detour and u-turn to ensure the time was all used. It was the u-turn that brought about the crash, the Pig foolishly thinking he could match the turning circle of a London cab. He can't. End result: kerb clipped, slow motion crash and Pig lying on the pavement with the Precious Bike on top of him. Damage seems to be limited to the cosmetic (both Pig and more importantly Precious Bike) though the scars on knee and elbow look quite impressive. The Pig was helped to his feet by a nearby labourer who had witnessed the crash. He was kind enough not to offer the obvious advice that someone of the Pig's advanced years might want to be more careful.

And here's the thing. Some daft auto-pilot clicks in on such occasions - the Pig remembered to stop his watch as he lay on the pavement. Two hours, thirty minutes and forty seconds. Mission accomplished.