Billy Elliot

Some things surprise you when you come back to them. Such transpires to be the case with Billy Elliot, a film I have seen several times but which I now suspect I was taking for granted. I paid proper attention this afternoon and can say this - it is a beautiful thing, affecting and  just on the sensible side of cloying. Fine acting all over the piece but particular credit goes to Gary Lewis as Billy's beleaguered father. Not a wasted frame in view. 86/100.

Now for something a deal removed from ballet but possessed (to certain of us) of a beauty of its own. It is the Pig's recurring nemesis - golf. First of all a positive note - played at Stonebridge with the rugby lads last week and, praise where praise is due, encountered greens as fine as I've played and, despite rumours to the contrary, I have played at some nice courses.

But that, I'm afraid, is enough of the positivity because someone in golf has got my goat - enter stage left Bryson DeChambeau. Great name, very fine golfer but more than a bit of a plonker. It is not his scientific approach to the game that I dislike though I find his method inelegant. No, it is his demanour that grates. During the first round of the WGC currently being played in Memphis he sought the connivance of a rules official in deeming a single red ant a burrowing animal. The official quite properly stood his ground though fell short of employing the language the Pig would have deployed, namely 'Play it as it lies you spoilt brat'.

The Overgraduate has been known for his pithy golf commentary in the past, indeed the purple prose of 'Tiger Woods is a knob' still attracts hits on Google. Don't get me wrong I do not question the athleticism that Woods brought to the game, nor do I object to DeChambeau bringing sheer power to bear on the game. However until Bryson mends his manners I will not be rooting for him. Grow up you knob. You play a game for a (very healthy) living and some humility would not go amiss.